Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Problem Solving: How do you solve problems in your life? When an obstacle is in front of you do you look for a way around it or do you fold your cards and give up??
These were some of the questions that were presented to us during the segment on Problem Solving. How will we as a couple overcome obstacles in our life and marriage?For example finical struggles, ailing parents, lack of communication, and one on one time once children come or we are busy at work. After hearing from the couples that were leading the retreat we were able to break-away and first talk about how we thought each other dealt with obstacles and what we need from each other in these times.
What a priceless conversation to have!!!!!
As we talked a BIG realization that I came to was that we were not just preparing for the
"immediate speed bumps" we may incur but we were establishing a healthy foundation for our future hurdles together. I want to give an example about problem solving in: Joey is a much more methodical thinker me; who has a reaction and emotion the minute I come across something. Joey may take 5 minutes to come to a feeling or reaction and that is something I have never understood but after this weekend I realized that he is taking time to make sure what he says is EXACTLY what he wants to say and he realized that I need a response from him so I know he is in it with me!
Why I Am The Person I Am Today: Have you ever asked yourself this question??? It was a large section that I think both of us weren't completely thrilled with tackling but getting a chance to really talk about our "PAST" was really good for us. Joey and I talked about the good, the bad, and the ugly. It connected us. It helped us communicate. When we broke away we were instructed to answer some questions:
1. Who has been the influential force in your life:
E response: My mom- as I get older I see her in me in so many ways. The way I want my house to look, the way I cook/entertain, the way I laugh, they way I love/cry. And it is an awesome thing!!!! She has given me so many memories and has shown me what unconditional love as parent looks like.
J response: Before I tell you (JOEY IS CREATIVE) Instead of writing Joey drew a picture of his Nana and Papa eating dinner. He described to me who he would sit by and various memories with the both of them. He told me why he choose them. He also described how he sees them both in his day to day actions.
At the end I really was wishing I could of meet his Papa(grandfather)
Below are the Bride/Grooms thoughts of the weekend:
Bride: First I want to thank God because I know very strongly that he is present in our relationship and that he was with us this weekend as we grew together. I want to thank Joey for being an extremely ACTIVE partner during this past weekend. Often times I would look around the room and see men that were so not interested in it. Joey, you were so thoughtful, considerate, giving,funny, and loving. I walked away loving you in a completely new way. I want to thank Wrigley for being an awesome dog and not having any accidents while we were gone for the majority of the weekend (this I worried about). I want to thank my mom and grammie for giving me the pep talk before this and for praying for us while we were attending this retreat. Prayer is such a powerful thing! Believe!
Groom: As Erin stated, I would like to thank God also, I think the more and more Erin and I talked this weekend, the more and more we realized how God was present in our lives together. I want to thank Erin for going through this with me, there were many other ways we could've spent a weekend at home but you were very open and honest with me. I walked away loving you so much more and know that we will be able to work through whatever life throws at us and we built that foundation during this weekend. Erin must have short term memorty loss because Wrigley met us after the first day with a huge puddle in his kennel but he managed to survive the entire second day, so he was a pretty good dog for the most part. Thank you all who were praying for us this weekend. Erin and I appreciate them and we will both remember this weekend for the rest of our lives.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Joey and I are both Catholic and the Marriage Prep Weekend is a requirement to be married in Davenport and Bettendorf. Although it is mandatory after attending I think this was an invaluable experience.
As we arrived Saturday morning Joey and I were equipped with our Caffeine-Diet Coke well I should say I was since Joey gave it up for Lent. We received our books which titled "For better and For Ever" Ever Ever Ever. . .. Yes For EVER!
The room was filled with more than 85 couples. We a table with available seats with two other couples. Both the girls knew each other and had just completed their PT degrees. Their fiances were still in school becoming a doctor and a dentist. Joey really enjoyed talking with the med student since secretly he would love to go back to school and become a doctor.
The day began with the Deacon Daryl of the parish opening with prayer and telling us we would not be given a schedule for the weekend and to be ready for anything!!
Couples from the particular parish spoke on different segments. The first segment was on "interfaith" marriages. This topic was covered by a Catholic wife and Jewish husband. I thought it was so valuable to hear how they discussed how even though they come from different religious backgrounds they are committed to growing faith together. They pointed out that couples have a much higher success rate when topics like how their children will be raised, if they will attend church together and at what church BEFORE marriage. Many couples wait till after marriage and this is a mistake that both negatively affects the couple and if they have children.
The next topic that was covered was finances. Another topic that has a higher success rate when couples talk about BEFORE marriage. During this topic the couple pointed out some great points after they spoke for a bit. They broke us apart and had us answer questions about our finances and how things would be run in our household. One of the questions was " how much should your partner be able to spend without consulting the other one?" Joey and I wrote down the amount that we thought was appropriate and then showed each other. We both immediately started laughing looking at the differences between what we both wrote. Although we started out with different numbers, we got to the same number with some valuable comedic conversation.
Another topic that was covered was planning for a FAMILY! This was so much fun!! To dream with my future husband about what we wanted our family to look like, how we wanted to raise them, the life we wanted to give them. The next couple had us draw out what or memories were in our childhood of holidays, meals, and vacations. Then compare them. Then they had us draw a picture of what those memories would like for our children. By the way, Joe is a much better artist than I. My plan is to frame our picture and put in our dining room so it can be a reminder of where we are going.
More topics tomorrow and a final look at the weekend from the Bride & Groom!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
This book has been on the bestseller list often in the past year. I have heard people go crazy over this book and others that said they just didnt get it. I had the book for quite awhile before I got to it. THe first 100 pages were the hardest for me. At page 75 I called my mom and said I couldnt read anymore but she told me to keep on going. I would suggest this book if you are looking for something different, edgy, and hopeful.
Recently I started a book club with some fellow girlfriends of mine. The idea is that everyone gets together at the person who picked the book that month for discussion, snack and chit chat. I was lucky enough to be the first to pick. I had previsouly read the book The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold and thought this story would be a good starter since many of the clubers had read her first book. I will update you when I finish with pictures and review from our first book club get together!
One of my bridesmaids(Hi Kendra) gave me this book this past weekend when we were together. I had been telling her that I wanted to read it and she was gracious enough to supply me with a copy. I started it on my Sunday Drive home. I am only on the second chapter but so far I really have enjoyed it- it challenges the mind!!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Madeline Jane Turner is my Goddaughter.
The best way to describe her is Juicy Kisses, Diet Coke Sipper, Singer, Back Patter, Obessed with Fairytales, and Grammie's girl.
The other wewekend she was able to come spend the entire weekend with me and some of my family and it was such a JOY!!!
We went flowergirl dress shopping, out to lunch with CoCo, bridal expoing and lots of playing with Wrigley.
Joey was great with getting Madeline comfortable with Wrigley- she absolutely loved helping Joey doing everything with the puppy.